How to Manage Your Toddler and Pre- schooler

Most of the children exhibit tantrums between two to four years of age. So it is crucial for the parents to know how to manage such behaviors of the child.

-Be soft and gentle: If your child gets indulged in an unacceptable behavior, do not lose your temper. Deal with him calmly and with patience, but firmly.

-Re- directing or distracting attention: When your child, especially your toddler is crying for something that is unacceptable, try to divert his attention to something that he likes. E.g. If your child is trying to climb on the television stand, you can distract him by giving a toy that he likes.

-Give the child options- You can allow your toddler to choose between things, to avoid protest against a particular thing. For a pre- schooler, you can give an option regarding what is preferred, while refusing to do something.

Do not give ‘lectures’- Never try to give long ‘lectures’ regarding his particular kind of behavior that your child has done. Just give warning or say ‘no’ or let him get the consequence of his action. Children often recent advices and do not pay attention to them.

-Things should be ‘here’ and ‘now’- Small children, especially toddlers often forget the unacceptable behavior that they have done after a short time. Any kind of corrections that are given after this time will be useless. So, toddlers need to be corrected promptly.

-Set the intended behavior tactfully- Always try to bring out the child from disapproved behavior by motivating him to do them correctly and rewarding him for that. E.g. “I know that Stuart will pick up the toys from the floor and place it in the cup board.”

-Avoid battles with your child- Never try to argue or fight with your child when he misbehaves. Always keep patience and be silent or just ignore.

-Talk in a positive way- Instead of correcting any action of your child in a negative way, try to react positively. E.g. you can say “We will go and play ball in the park” instead of “Do not play ball inside the house.”

-Do not give in to demands- Do not give in to the child’s demands if he cries or shows tantrums. Be strong with your decision.

-Ignore certain behaviors- Ignore certain kind of misbehaviors. Getting angry to the child when he misbehaves may cause the child to repeat the particular behavior to get more attention.

-Time- outs- Give the child time- outs to calm down after a tantrum or misbehavior. Talk to him about his problem after cooling down and convey openly that you disapprove such protests.

-Managing excessive cry-When you toddler cries excessively, try to find the reason behind the crying and solve it. Sometimes he may be afraid of something or may mot be feeling well. Allow him time to cool down.

-Dealing with sibling rivalry- Sometimes your child may feel jealous regarding the parents giving much attention to the younger child. Try to give the child more attention and give him praise for his good behavior.

Hugging your child- Hugging your child will help him to come down and to feel that he is being loved.

Talk openly- Talk openly to your child regarding anything that he requires help. This will help your child to discuss any problems with you and he will learn to overcome the difficulties.

Encourage to verbalize the feeling- Encourage to verbalize your child’s emotions. Never put him to shame for getting angry. Tell your child that it is normal to get angry but the way he expressed it is unacceptable.

It is behavior and not the child- Let you child know that it is the behavior that you hate and not the child. Say “I hate the way you behaved in the mall” rather than “I hate you for the way you behaved in the mall.”

Teach empathetic understanding- Let your child understand how others feel when he misbehaves. Explain how you felt when your child showed tantrums.

Some of the reasons behind the misbehavior of the child may be problems in the family, lack of care and attention or hunger and tiredness of the child. Children of this age group have difficulty to express their feelings through language and as a result exhibit tantrums or angry outbursts. Openly communicating with the child and discussing their feelings will help the parents to manage their behavior to certain extent.